When helping parents parent, I help them strategize key elements of raising the child up to love others, love God, and love themselves. First and foremost, teach the child, while continuously communicating love to them, by utilizing moments I call 'Teaching Moments'. Any time a child acts out, puts themselves in danger, or is disobedient, parents can use these as teaching moments. Communicating love before offering consequences is also vital to the child’s health and well-being.
Are the parents, even and including the ste parents, in unison? Are the parents ‘partnering up’ to parent? If a child can get what he or she wants, by going specifically to a particular parent, that can be a clear indicator that the parenting ‘team’ is not firmly in place. In therapy, we work on the parents becoming that healthier partnership.
IF-THEN PARENTING is extremely helpful and essential, as it incorporates clarity and consequences, as well as reinforcing good behavior. IF-THEN PARENTING clearly defines for the child and the parent what is acceptable, and what is not. This technique is helpful from early childhood through the teen years, and the key is love and follow-through. When follow-through breaks down, the child learns quickly how to cross the line, especially when there is no one manning the line.
Parents loving children in a way that raises them up to love God and to be assets in the community is our goal at Calibration Counseling.
We can’t get around it. Stress. It is everywhere. The daily commute, lack of sleep, busy schedules, relationship issues all contribute to our stressful lives. We are inundated from every angle.